When you talk to others, hold a conversation with your best
friend, or your mom, or a co-worker, or your child, are you really
listening? The majority of time in a
conversation, the ‘listener’ is often thinking of what they are going to say next
that is relevant to themselves, rather than listening to what is being said to
them and commenting back on that. Pay attention
next time you really have a conversation with someone and see are you a true
listener? Everyone needs a listener and if you are only thinking about yourself
and what to say next, you are not giving your conversation partner the time
they need to talk. If you learn to
actually listen, then they will reciprocate and begin listening to you
also.
I’m not a listener… I’m one of those that are thinking about
the next thing to say to make the conversation about me. This was pointed out to me many years ago,
and I started noticing it then, but I don’t realize to actually listen until
the conversation is over and I reflect back.
That’s when I’m beating myself up for being selfish when my friend, or
family, or co-worker just wanted to get something off THEIR chest. They don’t care how their situation is
comparable to mine at that moment. Start
paying attention to what you say and what you hear, see if you are that person
they can really come to, or if they avoid you for a reason??
My Aunt is the best listener I know and when we talk, I
always think how I want to be more like her every day. She asks me questions
and genuinely wants to hear what I have to say about myself, and she feeds off
that and continues to talk about me as well.
That is what your conversation partner is looking for when they initiate
a conversation. Be that listener!
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